Update

Wow, I have not written anything for a while.
Time management Natasha...Time management!

So, things are going well.

Work is challenging. Like trying to establish the role of chaplain and admin lady is tough for the kids to catch on too, but it is getting there.

God is good and is teaching me organization in this job, which is flowing over into different parts of my unorganized life...church, relationships, youth and so on.

The goal is to just keep my eyes fixed on the big picture, so that in the times that things may not seem so clear or, just unenjoyable, I can stand firm on the promise that God has a greater plan to all things and that this is all part of it. I can stand firm on the fact that when I look back, I will be able to see Gods hand dealing with different character building challenges in me, to build into me the things that He needs to.

Although I am comforted by that...what about the 'now'. Well It is always important for me to be reflecting on my life and walk with God so that I can see him moving in my life at the present time as well. Weather that is how I will see it in the future or not, always being aware of God in my life and those around me is an important key in my relationship with Him as well as spurring others on with their relationship with Him.

Testimonies encourage others as well as yourself.

Always be ready to tell people what God has done in your life...or what He is doing.

Identity theft

Last week, we were broken into.

Hayley's (my sis) car was taken and latter found burnt out.

My laptop with a years worth of journelling, photos, thoughts and just personal stuff, my wallet with quite a bit f cash in it, my ipod with thousands of songs, my phone, my brand new tent, my new bible on cd, my everything.

It is a sucky feeling. As I walked into work that day with nothing in my hands, no bag no wallet, no nothing, I felt like someone had stolen my identity. Like I was no one anymore. But the amazing thing is, that got me thinking.

Why did I feel like that? Where was it that I had placed my identity? What was it that I valued?

The fact that I had lost about $3,ooo worth of stuff, wasn't really it. It was that I had all my thoughts and journey for the last year on there. Stuff that I can't get back.

That's just it! What is it that is really important. So I had alot of stuff that I will not be able to replace, but what is the most important? Is it my personal thoughts, the stuff that I want to have for my own benefit, or is it the fact that I have breath in my lungs, roof over my head, and most importantly, my relationship with Jesus, which no one can take away. That is something that has to be given away. Something I will never lose. Something I will never give, but something that I can share as long as I do have breath in my lungs.

Corney???? Truth!!!

So really, they have no hope.

TO LIVE IS CHRIST AND TO DIE IS GAIN. NO MATTER WHAT PRICE I PAY, I CHOOSE TO GIVE THIS LIFE AWAY!

Feeling the pain

New Zealand was the best thing I have every done, in a long time (apart from starting my relationship with Jesus).
I am back home in Australia now and it is tough.
I know I am meant to be here, and I know that this is a good place for me to be, for it is in God that I am here and doing the things that He has me doing, but I miss New Zealand. I know it has only just been a week and I sure that it will get better, but right now my heart is not here. It is not in anything that I am doing. I feel like I left my heart in New Zealand.
I wonder, would it have been any better if I had spent more time preparing and in prayer before I came back? Or was this feeling inevitable.?
I am in a few roles this year that will need my heart to be in it, so I am just praying that these feelings and lack of heart will be a quickly fleeting thing.
New Zealand was a blessing in so many ways. I made new friends, I encountered new challenges, I had new adventures, I was refreshed and relaxed, but most of all, I made great relationships with my family who I had never spent time with before apart from when I was 8.
To be in family with a father a mother and 3 boys was different but an absolute blessing.
I could not have chosen a better place to spend 2 months.

Starting to feel the pain.

Well, I have a week left here in this wonderful place called Aotearoa.
I spent Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday with Rachael from Buffalo. We walked Mount Rangitoto,
(this is one of the caves), and had a bunch of fun then headed off for Rotorua for 2 days. Man that place stinks. The locals say they don't notice it. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. I must admit, I heaved at one stage. We had so many laughs and I learnt so much about the Mouri culture. I loved it. The museum was my favorite. The story of Rotorua is incredible. I so loved hearing the myths and true stories.

I am starting to feel the pain. I don't want to go, but I know I have an amazing year ahead back home.
I will be a mess when I leave my family behind. I love these guys so much and I hate the thought of not being able to have a laugh with Jan, or get a hug from James, or get tackled by Sam, or have the heck squeezed out of me by Rick, or have a thought-processing-conversation with Rod. I feel like I have just found my long lost family and now I have to leave them.
Everything here is telling me to stay...well, come back and stay, but I know I need to go back, it's ok everyone. I have a wonderful Job and my wonderful family (I don't know how I have lasted this long without them), but I just want to take New Zealand with me. These guys have filled another place of me which I so don't want to leave behind. They have become so close to me. My new best friends.
I know it is coming to an end and I guess I am just trying to come to terms with it. Of coarse I am going to be feeling like this. To leave family, friends and relationships behind is the hardest thing to do. But it must come to an end, and to tell you the truth, I am really excited to see the growth and challenges God will bring my way this year through my Job, family and church.
God is faithful.
I so long for us all to be together and I will continue to pray for this for as long as it takes. Until then, who knows. But I get to travel, and I so love New Zealand. If it wasn't for my church, job and family being in Australia oh, and the fact that God wants me there hehe...(so, in other words, my life) I would move here in a second... well, maybe for a while. I do love Australia.

So, I have the last week ahead and I so want to make the most of it. I have loved every moment of being a part of this New Zealand life. What an amazing country, and an amazing bunch of people who God is so obviously working through.
Everyone needs to come experience the New Zealand culture.

Family Time

This has been an amazing time of being with the family, and I really couldn't think of anything better.

I have been wanting to do a bit a traveling around the country but by myself could be a bit scary besides the fact that I would hate to miss any second with these guys.
I am scared to leave...honestly. I can't picture life without these guys. I don't want to.
Sometimes it feels like we just go through life doing what we think is right, but we totally miss it.
That's how I feel about these guys. My family. I had not even met my youngest cousin till he was like, 8. My uncle I had met twice and my aunty maybe 3 times. The older boys, well we have just missed being a part of each others lives and I don't want it to continue like that. Especially now we have formed relationships.
These guys are important to me and I don't want to go through life missing their's. Corney, I know. But true. I don't know how God is going to do it all and what my future is. All I know is that I have an awesome job that God has blessed me with back home and my family there too.
I have decided that we all need to live together. One big block of land, alot of little houses and some pets. Yep, that it! Please God?

Changing seasons

4 months ago I got the most awesome Job. A month ago I left Australia and came to a different country. Tuesday, Hailz went back to Aussie and now it is just me for the next month, and then I go back to Aussie too.
I love change, but man it is hard sometimes.
It was so sad to see Hayley's trip come to an end, and I know it is going to happen to me.

What to do while I am here?
Well, there are heaps of things to do and places to see, but I think the most important thing for me to do with this time is to enjoy my family...all of them, and to process through some things with lots of time spent in prayer. I want to be refreshed and fully there when I go back to Aussie, but I'm scared that I am just going to miss it here. I need to spend time thinking of the things I have learned and the fun I have had, and the things I have been able to be a part of.

I am getting involved in the youth while I am here, just to help out a bit, so that will be a great experience.

I don't know if any of that makes sense to anyone, but I just felt like writing some stuff down.
So, I did.
God is good and in these times of change we are able to see his hand at work.
Now that is worth changing for.

Update on things.

Well, Hailz and I have been in New Zealand for just about 1 month now. Hailz leaves on Wenesday. That is sad! We have had so much fun here with the family. Tonight James, Leon, Zoe, Hailz and I are going to Snow planet to do a bit of snow boarding. That should be fun! Although yesterday when we went to go and pick up Zoe, we decided to go to a park and go a bit crazy. There was like a mouse wheel there and Zoe had a accident and sprained her ankle. Now she will have to be the photographer at snow planet tonight. Sux heaps.

Well last weekend I went to a Wesleyan Youth camp. I got to be one of the team leaders. Yellow team. Which was my friend Brents team last year. Shout out to Brent, I took them to the top. But unfortunately because of some cheats we got put in second place. Not naming any names...Josh and Rick. Anyway, we won and thats all there is to it.
Apart form that I had an amazing time. It was an honour to be a part of what is going on here in New Zealand with the Young people. I loved being a part of it and God really showed me some great things in me and in others at the camp.
I have already commited to coming back next year to it. It as amazing to be a part of something so connected with so many different churches and places. That is something that really stuck out to me, was the family and the connectedness of the churches here and in the USA. What a great thing the Wesleyan Church have going. I was blessed to be a part of this camp.

So that is it for now.
Next weekend I go to Parachute. So excited. There are so many bands going to be there. Wooohooo.

God is good and He is continually at work in our lives.

Waiting...

Wait on God for a Job!
Wait on God for a Husband/Wife!
Wait on God for children!
Wait on God!


All you see in book shops about single life are books to prepare you for what is ahead. For your future partner. How God can get you prepared for true love, and so on.
Well what if you just want to be happy and content where you are? What if you don't want to put your heart out on a ledge waiting?

I just got a book called 'Who has your heart? The single womens pursuit of Godliness.'
Finally, I have found a book that doesn't tell you 101 ways to prepare for marriage, or what to do to find the man God has waiting for you, and so on.
I have found a book that speaks to me where I am at, and where I need to be. A book that faces me back to my father in heaven and sets my focus on Him.

Waiting is something that a single person hears a lot of. And this is what Emily E. Ryan writes about it...well these are my thought on what she writes anyway.

To wait means to stay in one place and do nothing until something happens or in the expectation or hope that something will happen. Wright? Wrong!

The meaning of waiting when God says it in this sense is to be ready or available for someone to take or use... God!

To wait on God is not something that we should cringe at because, come on, think about it, waiting is boring.
It is a call to action!
To serve!
God says, "Wait on me while you wait on me"! Take action while you wait.
This is a perfect opportunity to spend as much time as I want or need to, to focus on who God is and what He has got me doing now.

I am in a good place. And I am happy...no, thankful, that I am here.

Finally Here

Well, I am finally in New Zealand with my little sister.
The count down has ended. Woohooooooo!
For those that don't know, the plan was to get here on Christmas day with a massive box that would fit, say... two girls in. We were going to get in the box at the front door, knock on the door close the box and when they answered, we would jump out and surprise them, as they did not know we were coming. Great plan hey?
Well we thought so... until...

The story goes something like this...

We got up nice and early Christmas morning at Grandmas to get ready. By early I mean 3:30am.
We had to leave there by 5am to get to the airport 2 hrs early as our flight was at 9 :15am GCT (Gold Coast Time). We would get to New Zealand at 3:20pm NZT(New Zealand Time).
Part of the highlight of the surprise was the way we dressed. We wanted to look outrageously Australian, so we found some great green and gold out fits.
We arrived at the air port at 6:30 full of excitement and nerves, ready for our 2 hr wait. We checked in, gave them our huge TV box (thanx Matt ans Maria), and headed for the coffee lounge. Because of our outfits we were attracting quite a few funny looks and a few funny comments too.
Matt and Maria sat with us for a while until it was time for us to go through customs and down to our terminal. Off we went, full of beans and ready to fly out.
We sat down at out terminal waiting and waiting till about 8:00am when a call on the speakers went through saying something like this, "due to a cracked window on your air craft, there will be up to a 2 hr delay on your flight. We apologize for any inconvenience and we have food vouchers for you to come and collect from gate 83."
Well some of the faces were not good. It was Christmas day for goodness sake. We sucked it up and thought, well at least we will be there by 5:00pm NZT.

So we sat around for a bit then decided it was time to get our free food. Yummy. Off we went, all the while meeting some great people that just couldn't help but say something.
We went back and sat down and ate. At about 10:00am GCT we heard the next message which was about to change everything. "This is for flight DJ 186 flying to Auckland New Zealand. There has been further delays and your flight will now be leaving at 5:30pm GCT. Sorry for any inconvenience, and we have more food vouchers for you if you would like to come and collect them from gate 83."
Oh dear!
Everything suddenly changed. Our world was being turned upside down. All our months of planning... out the window. We looked at each other and sighed, "Its ruined". We would now arrive in New Zealand at about 11:30pm with know way to get to there house as no one thought the shuttle buses would be running that late as well as the fact that we now had the sit in an air port for another 7 - 8 hrs.
Not happy Jan!
Well to make this story a bit shorter, we found ways to amuse our selves for 7 hrs. Movies on the laptop, cart wheels, hand stands, funny stupid photos, playing with a bunch of little kids that were on our flight, who couldn't keep away from the bright colours we were wearing. We actually became friends with like everyone on our flight. We played hacky, which God blessed us with for free from a shop in the air port, and had a bunch of fun.
At 4:30 another call came. "Your flight is now leaving at 6:00pm". We had now decided we would sleep in the New Zealand airport so we didnt have to wake the family at 3am.
At about 5:30pm came another. "Your flight is now leaving at 6:40. We have a plan, we have the crew but we are waiting for a pilot to arrive from New Zealand".
Well sure enough, after 12 hrs at the air port on Christmas day, we were on the plane by 6:20pm and flying out by 6:40pm GCT.
We Got to NZ by 1:30am NZT, found a shuttle bus, got to the road at 3:20am and walked down with all our luggage. We didn't want to wake them so we laying in the bow looking at the stars.
I woke up to water on my face. "Hayley... Hayley. Wake up, it's raining". She looked up and wanted to cry. The light was on in the garage. That was weird and I was freaking out. We grabbed our stuff, freezing cold and ran to the garage. The light turned off before we reached it. I stoped but Hayley kept going. "Hayley, stop" I said. She wouldn't. I followed. We put our stuff there then went for a walk as I was too scared to stay there. We sat at a bus shelter that stunk like wet dog at the beach. The seat was slanted so we could not lie down. We had slept for about 20 minutes in about 24 hrs and we were feeling it. We were pretty emotional. We left there and went for a walk down to the dairy, thinking we would wake them at about 6:30am. I went to a phone and rang the operator to ask the time. Hayley guessed 4:36am... it was 4:37am. We sat and sat ans sat.
Hailz checked the time this time. It was 5:40am.
We walked back to the house and sat on the front porch watching the sun rise. We now decided not to wake them till 7 being the day after Christmas and all. I put my head in my hands. "Tash" Hayley said. I sat up. Hayley started cracking up. I had ribbing on the sleeves of my jumper which I had just had my face on. I now had lines across my face, bags under my eyes, and we both didn't look quite how we looked 24 hrs ago. We got up went to knock on the door but I chickened out. Hayley told me to go have a look at myself. There was a mirror in the garage. Oh dear!
Thats it, we're going in. I gave one look at Hayley and said, "you sure"... "do it" she said. I walked up and knocked. My uncle Rod answered. The face was great.
We walked in and sat down. They gave us breaky and a shower. Then we sat on the lounge.
We were here. It felt so surreal. The wait was finally over, and we thought, thank you God for not letting us take it for granted.
And the rest is another story.

Click on my flicker photos to see some more of our New Zealand photos.

Personality change

So... I was driving along in my car the other day, and I was thinking about the way I was when I was younger. When I used to go up to anyone and just talk to them. It is supposedly meant be part of my personality.
As I went through... I guess we will call it a "down" period in my life, I became more nervous to talk to people. I even began to avoid people so I didn't have to talk to them. My so called personality, was not holding up to its name.
Because I was not walking with God at that time, I now recognize the Joy that only comes from God. I had lost my joy! Happiness comes and goes, but joy is from the Lord and is ever present, even when you are going through something huge.
The joy of the Lord is your strength. Neh 8:10
Getting that joy back has been a long process, as I have sort God after it.
I can honestly say that the joy of the Lord is my strength, and after it playing such a huge role in who I was, and then walking away from it, is it meant to be this hard to get it completely back again?
The question I have come too is, Have I had a personality change? Is that even possible, or, am I just on a long journey back to wholeness?
Lord, Your joy is what I need to be filled up with every morning before I go into my day. Your joy is my strength, and always will be what i need to make an impact in people.

Amazement

I am continually amazed and blown away by God's Grace, blessings, and kindness. God is always showing me grace, blessing me, and coming through when I get to the end of myself, and it never ceases to blow me away.

I thought to myself the other day... What if I got used to it? What if I began to become complacent with all the things God does for me? What is it that keeps me amazed, and others oblivious?

When you have an open mind and spirit, you begin to see stuff you didn't see before. I know that when I wasn't following God for a while there, I couldn't see the wonderful things He was doing or trying to do, but as soon as I started acknowledging Him again, things that I couldn't see before became so real to me. I started to recognize "good things" for what they really were, Gods Blessings.

Ps 145:3 Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. This passage proves to me that the Greatness of my God will never stop blowing me away, if I never stop acknowledging things for what they truly are.
Ps 155:2 Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Surpassing means 'To be beyond the limit, powers, or capacity of; transcend.'

(A smile from God)

Always praise God for things that happen in your life. Anything from a good car park or a good view from your back yard, to the fact that the creator loves you, and gives you salvation (plus all the other cherries on top).

Running in your lane?

I noticed one of the things I say to people (especially the youth I teach), is "make sure you are running YOUR race, that you are being who God created YOU to be".
When I talk to people about life principles and just life in general, I always try and talk about things that I practice myself, not things that I don't do (practice what you preach and all that).

Well, today in my devotional time I was asked that same question that I so often ask... Am I running my own race.

"Woops"

Holly Wagner speaks about watching sprinters in a race and how they all stay in their own lane otherwise they will be disqualified from the race. She writes, "How many of us are trying to get through life running in someone else's lane?"

Well, I'm reading away thinking , YES and AMEN when... I get to the end and she says go and write down 3 things you are great at and 1 thing you are passionate about. That got me!
It made me realize how much easier it is to tell someone that then to do it.

I'm a classic for trying to run in someone else's lane. I see cool things and think... Yeah, I could be good at that. But why try and be good and something God didn't create you to do, when you could be great at something that He did.

There is no one in this world that can be me better than I can. It is the same for everyone. I think that we forget sometimes that we loose out when we try and run in someone else's lane. But not only that, all the people around us do, as well as God. We not only rip ourselves off, we rip the others off too.

What I learnt?
Be an inspiration, and let others be an inspiration.
Don't try and take from someone else's what works for them and try and make it work better for me.
It is Ok that I am not good at everything, just as long as I am great at being me.
No one can take that, even if they try!

I will be who God has created me to be. That way I can be great.

"Everyone has the power of greatness- not for fame but greatness, because greatness is determined by service." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Write down what you are great at. What is it that you have been gifted to do? Serve in that area and you will be made great!

Pretty basic stuff, but something the majority of the world misses.
Something like 5% of Christians are doing what they are called to do.

Appreciation/ Acknowledgment

Twice now I have been given this scripture by someone. Is God trying to tell me something????
James 1:4. It talks about perseverance being complete.

You know when things are just so hectic, and you wonder if anyone really cares about or, appreciates or, acknowledges the things you do. Or do we do it all in vein?

Well, the first question is... Who do we do it for?
The next question is... Why do we do it?

The first question is so important if we want to feel good about the things that we do. (Feeling good isn't the reason why we should be doing things but that is another thing).
If we are doing things just for people to see us doing them, well we are going to wear ourselves out.
Doing things for people always seems to get me down. Us humans don't always seem to see all the little things that go into everything others do. We don't always give others the recognition they are expecting, even if they deserve it or not. They may be the most appreciative person in the world, but they aren't perfect and they get stuff wrong, and they miss things.
This is why we MUST do everything we do for God. God sees all, and He sees our hearts as well.
God will always give us the recognition we deserve.

The second question should be the driving force. Why do you do what you do? That is it! Why do you do what you do?

I think that this might seem like simple, silly stuff when you read it (or write it, as the case may be), but when we try and live like this, in a world where everyone is trying to impress others, (girls buying the latest clothing, guys trying to make the most money, have the coolest car, people trying to get the best career, putting others down to lift themselves up, and so on and so on, that is where the challenge lies.

Do we do things for recognition?
I think everyone wants to be appreciated, but who is going to give that to us whenever we need it...not whenever we want it... but whenever we need it?

This week God showed me that He appreciates what I do. Just when I needed it. I just need to keep persevering.
I was shown appreciation from human, but above that, God let me know, He is always watching.

I'm not really one to do things for recognition, but I do hope that people believe in me and appreciate me.
It is important for us to appreciate people and let them know that. But for yourself, don't do things based on that. You will just become more and more discouraged.

The Women I Will Become

I was sitting, after reading the Proverbs 31 Women, thinking about all the things I want to be. Who I want to be to my friends, who I want to be for my future husband, who I will need to be for my children, but most of all, all that God has designed me to be. Not because He doesn't think that I am not good enough the way I am, but because He has designed me for GREATER things. I don't only know this from reading the word and hearing the promises He has made, but because He has confirmed it to me over and over again.

This is what I got from reading Proverbs 31 plus some of my own add ins.

The women I will become

A women who:

Fears the Lord

Truly loves God above all else

Makes God the center of everything she does

Loves peoples individualism (the way God made them)

Is faithful to her word

Sees in people what they can become

People come to for wisdom/advice

Works hard, but not just hard, with EAGER hands.

Doesn’t put the cart before the horse

Makes the most of every moment

Walks in the Spirit

Is disciplined

Runs after Purity

Thrives on the word and continually knows it and uses it

People look up too

Shines Jesus’ light

Respects her family, friends, elders, leadership, and guys

Is happy with how God has made her

Knows she is forgiven and made NEW

A women of:-

Integrity

Faith

Love

Joy

Character

Wisdom

The spirit

Humility

Strength

Encouragement

NOW... HOW TO GET THERE? HHMMM

Faithfulness

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Heb 13:8

And this is what God continually shows me. As much as I may beat my self up and think, "why would God love me today, I've done nothing to deserve it," He proves to me that, He is the same yesterday and today and forever, regardless of my actions.

Lately God has been showing this to me through His faithfulness. Always coming through, always standing right there, always teaching, yet always ready to just listen. He just continually blows my boxes out of the water. Boxes that I put Him in, boxes that I put others in, and boxes that I put myself in.

God is just so faithful. Every time I get to the end of myself, there He is, just waiting, ready to pick me up and carry me the rest of the way. If only I would stop getting down out of my fathers arms and trying to walk out in front, instead of just holding His hand, walking with Him, ready for Him to pick me up when I realize, once again, that my strength can't get me through.

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow, He was, is, and will be my rock. He is where I place my trust.

Just testing this out

I really have know idea about this whole blog thing. I really enjoy reading my friends blog spots and although i have thought about doing it myself I was not sure if anyone would get anything out of it, but then I had a request for my very own thoughts and revelations to be put down. So I am. And for anyone else who would like to see what is going on in the world of Natasha, well this is for you.